The Last Entry. . .for a while at least

Sometimes life doesn't go as planned. Maybe that should be "usually" life doesn't go as planned. This semester has not gone well for Sean. That would be an understatement. Sean spiraled down this semester, causing great concern among those who know him, including his professors. So, much so that the U decided to do a "welfare check" and take him to the hospital to be admitted to the psyc unit on Tuesday night. We are in town to pick him up and withdraw him from the university. So, I am not a "college mom" after today. Perhaps again in the fall.

bored with homework, apathy and getting real about parental support

Diane55317: Anything you want to talk about?Sean55374: To let you know ahead of time, I'm probably going to have a lot more Fs.Diane55317: Why?Sean55374: Because I don't want to do it.Diane55317: Do what?Sean55374: The homework.Diane55317: why not?Sean55374: Because I'm not interested in it right now, I suppose would be the most accurate reason.Diane55317: So, become interested. I know that sounds flip, but you can choose to be interested.Sean55374: I don't take that approach.Diane55317: Although I am disappointed in your line of thinking, you have every right to think and do what you want, as you are an adult. Because you are an adult, your father and I do not have to financially support you. We choose to financially support you because we love you and want to help you "launch" yourself. Diane55317: u there?Sean55374: yesDiane55317: Let me be very plain. There are a lot of reasons to continue with college, but I'll just focus on the financial ones.Diane55317: If you do not want to continue in college, you need to have another plan. You can not live at home at no charge if you are not a full time student. So, if you choose to discontinue college, you will have to get a job to either get your own apartment or to pay toward room and board at home.Diane55317: Is that your thought--that you want to discontinue college?Sean55374: ...yes.Diane55317: Well, let me spell out the financial implications.Diane55317: What you get, financially, by staying in college--just looking at the next 3 years: Your dad and I will support you by paying for $6,000 of schooling for 4 years (3 more years is 18,000) and allowing you to live at home at no charge during the summer. By maintaining a B average you also get another $500 a semester to offset costs (another $3000 over 3 years). Diane55317: Plus, you probably would qualify for a grant for next year (not sure of the amount, could be upto another $4000 next year, I'm not sure about future years). So, if you decide to throw in the towel because you are "not interested in doing homework, " You will lose about $25,000 over 3 years (18,000 we will pay toward college, $3000 remaining scholarship and maybe $4,000 in grant money)..Diane55317: Actually, it will be more. If you want to live at home and not go to school, you do not get to live at home for free. We would expect you to pay toward your own room and board. Good luck getting a job without a college degree in this economy. And no car. Oh, yes, 6 months after graduating or leaving college (even without graduating), you have to start paying back college loansDiane55317: Better to bide your time in college and wait for the economy to turn around. The economy will probably be much better in 3-4 years!Diane55317: Now being in school will cost you about $20K over the next 3 years, which can easily be financed through low-cost college loans and working part time. And hopefully, when you graduate you will be able to earn significantly more than the generally low wages of a high school graduate.Diane55317: Have you thought about these things?Sean55374: I do not have a plan regarding what to do.Diane55317: Well, try this plan on for size: there are 3.5 months of school left this semester. Why not do the best you can for the rest of the semester and then you will have a few months of no school to decide what you want to do.Sean55374: I'll think about it.Diane55317: It's good to keep an open mind and to keep your options open. I do think finishing out this semester "strong" will keep the most options open for you. You will have one good year of school completed, so it will be easy for you to continue (as you won't have spoiled your grades or your scholarship money, if you have a B average), or, if you decide you'd rather work than go to school, you can also easily change your mind and go back to school at a later time if you didn't ruin your GPA. Diane55317: I think if you think about it, you will realize that 3.5 months is not that long and finishing up the year gives you the most options.Diane55317: I know that school can be a drag at times, but it helps if you decide you are going to do your best and be interested.Diane55317: Do know that we don't have a plan to "kick you out in the cold" if you decided to quit college and come home. You would have to be making plans how you would be contributing financially to either our household for your support or to your own fund for living on your own.Sean55374: That's good to know.Diane55317: Yes, and this would be a terrible time to be "kicked out in the cold" in Minnesota!:-) It's really cold!Sean55374: :) That it is!Diane55317: Well, I hope you will reconsider your attitude toward homework. You don't have to love the subject or even be highly interested in it to do well. I sometimes just played a little game with myself for those classes that were, well, boring to me. My game was to get the best grade I could by making sure I met all the requirements and studied just enough to get an A (which really meant having to "overstudy."). I did find satisfaction in playing the game. Diane55317: And for some classes I actually found satisfaction in learning the material! ;-)Diane55317: Well, I need to say goodnight--I get up at 5:30 AM!Sean55374: night. Getting up early what for?Diane55317: I get up early on M-W-F to work out with Peggy J at anytime fitness.Sean55374: oh. night.Diane55317: night!

What do women want?

Am excerpt of an IM conversation:Diane55317: Ahhh. . .what do women want?Sean55374: Indeed.Diane55317: Initially, subconsciously, women size up a man for his ability to procreate based on physical features--healthy, attractive (essentially symmetrical), strong.Sean55374: I think subconciously means, in this subtext, getting social and moneatal success -- securtiy.Diane55317: So, # 1 is what can you do in those areas? Be clean, well-groomed, and fit.Diane55317: Then a woman sizes up a man as to whether she would want to spend any time with him other than a one-night stand.Diane55317: This is where personality and intelligence come into play.Sean55374: brbDiane55317: Is he basically nice, with good morals? Is he fun to be with? Does he have basic good manners (considerate of others)? Is he about the same or better intelligence level as the woman?Sean55374: backDiane55317: Then--If the guy passes the first 2 levels, he gets considered as marriage material. What are his prospects as a provider? Can he get along with prospective in-laws? Does he share similiar beliefs? Sean55374: What is marriage for?Diane55317: marriage is both a legal and a religious/spiritual symbol of the unity of two people into a family unit (whether or not there are any children). Marriage provides a basis for commitment, stability and growth of a relationship. Also a solid foundation for children to be raised in.

College Boy Home for the Holidays

I picked up Sean at college a week ago and he has 2 more weeks at home before I take him back. He seems generally glad to be back--eating when he wants, spending time with siblings, etc. Although, I don't think he entirely appreciates my expectations of his schedule. I basically want him to sleep at night and be up during the day, not the other way around! On Monday, we had a "maintenance day" and he had a dental check up (3 cavities, which were filled on Wednesday) and he also picked out some new "retro" eyeglass frames, which should be ready before he returns to college. I checked his semester grades online this morning and he had a 3.18 average for his first semester--not bad and definitely good so that he gets to continue receiving scholarship $.

Social Advice from Mom. . .an email

Hi, Sean--
I watched your videos "I Ask Stupid Questions" and "I don't think my questions are stupid."

In those videos you expressed a concern with people being exasperated with your questions or your being redundant or arrogant. Although I have decided not to respond via Youtube, I will respond because I think you will find life more enjoyable if you have smoother interactions with others. And, hey, I'm your mom--I probably care more than anybody else!

First, some observations/advice:

1. Many of your statements and questions seem to be "all about you." You seem much more interested in getting information for yourself, or in asserting your opinion than you do in the other person. You will ask question after question with out commenting positively on what the other person has said. The other person can feel a bit like you are grilling him or trying to verbally back him into a corner. You have to "read" the other person and "back off" before they get exasperated. Instead of asking so many questions, you can encourage the other person to talk, by using statements like, "Really?. . .I see. . . I think I understand what you mean. . .Hmmm. . . What I'm hearing you say is. . .that's interesting. . .wow, I've never thought of it that way. . . or, as you know one of Dad's favorite's, "Help me understand. . ."

2. Some times you don't help the listener place your comments and questions in context. It's like you weren't really listening to what went on in the conversation and instead were lost in your own thoughts and just spouted off what appears to be almost random comments or questions. I know that is not usually the case, but you need to help your listener "connect the dots."

3. Your demeanor can be off-putting. You don't seem very concerned with how your actions/body language/attitude is affecting others. You really seem to take yourself too seriously and can appear "moody" and unapproachable. But when you smile or laugh you are transformed! I've told many people that "you can say almost anything as long as you say it with a smile." It's true! People like to be around happy people that they don't have to "walk on egg shells" around, afraid that they will do or say something to set the other person off into a bad mood.

4. You sometimes are disagreeable, which can be repelling. One of the most important lessons I learned in the improv classses I took was the power of "Yes." That is to accept whatever someone says, to not negate them, but to use what they say as a rung in the ladder of conversation. For example, a few years ago, I was talking with a visitor to our church, whom I also new from another organization. In conversation, she mentioned that she and her husband felt that their small children should participate in some religous children's program--that it "didn't really matter which religion, because they are all pretty much the same." Now, I don't think I need to tell you this, but I vehemently disagree with that statement! However, I realized that if I proceeded to grill her with questions or to show her, through very logical arguments, the error of her thought, I would completely push her away. So, I decided to use the power of "yes" and not negate what she had just said. Instead, I would find an area of agreement. "Yes," I said, "I do believe that many religions have much in common, such as the golden rule of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." And then we continued the conversation--and then she actually told me some differences in religions!

Finally, I wonder if you are getting enough practice in conversation. Youtube, although it is a forum for self-expression and some discussion, does not really have the immediacy of face-to-face conversation. Perhaps in your second semester, you may want to get out of your room more and participate more in various aspects of University life (the honors organization for example or going to the Wellness Center to work out). You can get some real life friendships going and maybe even meet some nice girls, too!

Second,
here is an excellent article you can read to glean some information:
How to Disagree and Persuade without Offending

Thanksgiving visit

Got to see "college boy" when we visited Grand Forks for Thanksgiving. I don't think Sean expected Kim and me to go up to his dorm room. You might say it was in a "natural state" with take-out food containers and piles of paper on the floor. I suggested to Sean that it might be a nice surprise for his roommate if he straightened up a bit before the roommate returned (I think he did that on Sunday). One of the containers was a pizza box from the night before--Kim had a pizza delivered to his room as there was no dinner service the night before Thanksgiving and we couldn't see him waiting 24 hours to eat the Thanksgiving dinner!

We had a relatively pleasant visit. Sean, Yuri and Clara played a bit on the Playstation Yuri brought with him, we had a long game of poker, visited my brother in Red Lake Falls and spent lots of time with Grandma and Grandpa. Of course, Grandpa couldn't help making a little comment about "I could say something, but won't because it would upset you. . ." apparently in reference to something about Sean (I am guessing regarding how he spends his time). Oh, well Grandpa has his own ideas, just as Sean does.

Sean, although somewhat moody at times, seemed in generally good spirits. It worked out quite well that Sean could sleep in his dorm room--giving him some privacy and giving his family more room at Grandma and Grandpa's. Plus, no strife over Sean being up late at night.

Cyberbullying

It's really too bad that experience is the best teacher. Wouldn't it be great if kids could learn from their parents' experiences! I've tried to tell Sean to be careful what he writes or says or shows (as in video) online because it is very public. Personally, I would only write things I wouldn't regret terribly if they were made public in my hometown newspaper. Prospective employers, prospective girlfriends, etc. could easily check up on anything posted online and emails can be sent to other than the intended recipient! Well, as is usually the case, my good advice fell on deaf ears. Sean has a Youtube channel for his ramblings on any subject that strikes his fancy--unedited, unfiltered and at times, controversial. He somehow attracted the attention of another Youtuber, a 30-something man who has large amounts of time to ramble on himself. Well, I made the mistake of posting comments on Sean's channel (not indicating that I'm his mom, however) and I think he apparently tracked down not only my facebook page, but Sean's as well and even set up a channel, using Sean's facebook profile picture and some videos that Sean made (outside and inside our home--pretty boring videos, actually) and then sent me a message from this new channel asking me if I was Sean's mom and if I knew a girl named Clara. Creepy. And he made some threats to Sean as well. Nothing serious, but enough to really scare Sean into taking down some of his videos and deciding to not interact with this particular individual. To me it all seems like such a waste of time!

Internet "spying" on College Boy

With a computer, internet access and your child's id and password you can find out a lot! My son gave me his college id and password so I could check up on him--grades, financial, aid, etc. We agreed that since we are paying a significant portion of his college expenses that his dad and I should be able to check up on our "investment." Well, this week, I check on his grades, specifically interested on how he did on a psychology exam and then I emailed him a "Way to Go!" email saying he did a good job of getting a 47/50 on the exam. He actually found out from me first!

My son, the dishwasher

Well, Sean got his first on-campus job working at the Cafeteria for about 3 hours a day. He is starting out as a dishwasher. This is the first job he has ever gotten with out parental input or influence. . .yeah!!

Too much information?

As I was lamenting that Sean wasn't more communicative, he decided to share one of his Youtube sites with me, or I guess the proper terminology is "channel" in the case of Youtube. What shall I say? It is a bit edgy, not really intended for mom-eyes or mom-ears. It is sort of a a video diary or video blog, a "vlog." Sean is using it to develop his thoughts and think outloud on all sorts of topics. In the past couple of months he has posted more than 360 short videos. Wow. I sent him an email with my thoughts after a one-hour sampling. Some of the videos are rather funny, like a short piece in which he directs the camera to his shirtless torso and after a quick view of his chest a "blank-out" box appears over the nipple area, apparently added by the Youtube software. Guys can't show their shirtless chests?

Too busy for Mom :(

Well, it has been a quiet week. I've been busy and I assume Sean's been busy--haven't really heard too much from him. I did find out a week ago that I was annoying him with "RU there" Instant Messages, so I have stopped doing that. Sean prefers the "delayed communication" of email.

A Shave and a Haircut and Grandpa's retirement

Well, I finally saw Sean in person when I went to Grand Forks on Tuesday. I had gone to Grand Forks for my Father’s retirement reception and dinner, which were held on Wednesday. Clara had come up with me and we both stopped at Sean’s dorm room late Tuesday afternoon. The dorm room wasn’t as bad as I had expected with two young men in such a small space. No funky smell and only a few food containers lined up against the wall (for reuse, I guess). However, Sean hadn’t had a haircut since he had left home; his thick, unruly hair, along with his small, not-so-neatly clipped chin beard gave him a decidedly unkept look. I suggested we walk over to the Student Union and visit the on-campus Great Clips hair cutting salon. Sean balked at that suggestion, as he didn’t like the itchy feeling of snippets of cut hair around his neck. He relented when I said, “Here’s the deal. You do it now, I pay for it. Later, you pay.” Unfortunately (or as it ended up, fortunately), Great Clips was booked, but the barber shop down the hall had time for a walk-in. Sean got a great haircut, but was startled at the end when the female barber, Marie, started lathering up the sides of his face and neck for a shave—a new experience for him. Sean’s appearance was much improved after the haircut. I told him that a few people would probably comment on his haircut the next day in class. He was skeptical that people would even notice, but when I spoke with him on Wednesday, he said quite a few people had mentioned it to him, which actually made him feel good—he wasn’t invisible!
The next day, Wednesday, Sean met us at the reception and even spoke a few words regarding his grandpa (something his uncles were even too self-conscious to do). His “high praise” was regarding his Grandpa’s portion of the JFK conference he had attended recently. Sean said that unlike some of the talks on subjects like homosexuality, which seemed to have no relevance, his grandpa’s talk was “the most relevant.”

Truth, God and Religion

Well, this entry is a long one! It is a cut and past of an Instant Message Dialog between my son and Me about Truth, God and Religion. Wow. My brain hurts! Diane55317: Hmmm...now that I think about it, it is not so much "situational ethics' that bothers me, but more relativistic truth. I can't stand it when people say "that may be true for you, but not for me." Argh! Sean55374: Could you give me an example?Diane55317: Well, if I say something is true for me but not true for you, then there are contradictions that are silly. If I say the light in the bathroom is on and you say the light in the bathroom is off and we are both right, then the light must be on and the light must be off at the same time, but that is impossible. Ok that was a strange example.Sean55374: lolDiane55317: Or take the statement I might make that "God exists." An atheist would say, "God does not exist." But these two statements can not both be true. If one is true, then the other is false. And since there are no other possibilities, one of them must be true.Diane55317: Also, and this is the part that I think has permeated our society--if truth is relative--no one is ever wrong--even when they are.Sean55374: So, what you're saying, is that since there are only two possibilities, one of them must be true, and people who say that either possibility could be the case is a semantic annoyance, because either God exists, or He doesn't; likewise, the light is either on, or off. And, this is an example of our society trying to never be wrong, since truth is relative?Diane55317: Yep. If someone feels they believe something to be true "for them" then they impede learning, because learning is moving from a false or incomplete belief to a true one.Sean55374: Is it really a dichotomy of "God exists" or "God doesn't exist"?Diane55317: Yes. There are no other possibilities.Sean55374: Why?Diane55317: Existance and non-existance are mutually exclusive and together encompass the only 2 choice regarding existanceDiane55317: Truth is a narrow pathSean55374: What is God's characteristics?Diane55317: Many have said that Christians are narrow-minded, because they claim that there is only one way to God and all other non-Christian systems are false. That is a narrow absolute. However if only A is true then it follows that non-A is false.Sean55374: Christians, Jews, Muslims, and, I'd think, some others would be considered narrow-minded.Sean55374: Do other religions hold that Christianity is false?Diane55317: Charateristics of God are found in the Bible--All powerful, all-knowing, all-present (or if you like the big words--Omnipotent, Omniscient, Omnipresent), Compassionate, Eternal, Faithful. . .I could go on and on. . .about other religions--yes, some other religions believe Christianity is false. The biggest reason is regarding the divinity of Jesus. For example, non-believing Jews do not believe that Jesus is God.Diane55317: They are still waiting for their savior.Sean55374: As I've understood it, all, or nearly all, religions think that all other religions are false. What do you think?Diane55317: Well, some religions try to "unify" beliefs. The Unitarian Church is one example of that, I think. It sounds good on the surface--sort of a big "group hug." But, I believe it is the work of Satan! How better to get people to believe a lie (that there is more than one path to truth or salvation) than to make them feel good about it?Sean55374: If an atheist will go to Hell, why would someone become an atheist? How could the knowledge of going to Hell be comforting?Diane55317: An atheist probably doesn't believe in Hell.Sean55374: Why?Diane55317: No Heaven. . .No HellSean55374: Why?Diane55317: An Atheist typically would believe that when you die, it is over. No afterlife.Sean55374: Why?/Diane55317: Well, atheists don't believe in the spirtual realm, only the physical.Sean55374: Why?Diane55317: By definition, atheism is the denial of the existence of God or of any supernatural realm.Sean55374: Forgot the label. Why don't atheists believe in the spiritual realm?Sean55374: ForgetDiane55317: Well, that is the question, isn't it.Sean55374: Not forgotSean55374: "Forget the label"Diane55317: Do you remember what some of the atheists have said that you have met?Sean55374: Do you mean atheists that I have met alongside you?Diane55317: No, I was thinking about the group at UND that you visited.Sean55374: Eh. Forget the group. Piss posh.Diane55317: What? Were they that lame?Sean55374: It was cultural reaction.Sean55374: They weren't objective in the least.Sean55374: The was more of anger towards Christian stupidity in believing in a man in the clouds than anything, and a gratefulness that other people like them were around, who shared their beliefs and convictions.Diane55317: OK--some people could be called ignorant atheists or accidental atheistis-they just never thought about God. But, that is not the usual kind of atheist that people mean. . .Sean55374: brbSean55374: backSean55374: You mean the people who have thought about it and have come to the conclusion that there is no God?Diane55317: Sean--I think there have been many books written on why people have chosen to deny the existence of God, with just as many stating the opposite. What is really interesting is to find out WHY a person holds their beliefs. Sean55374: What about those who view God as an invention of man?Diane55317: I think some people realize they have lost the ability to have blind faith in the religious traditions they grew up with. That and public schools pretty much can't talk about God, so some kids (myself included), start to feel that God was an invention of man, a fairy-tale.Sean55374: So, because you can't or shouldn't talk about God, God becomes myth/fairytale?Diane55317: Not so much that as it is the very lack of any time spent on learning about God. God was never a subject in school. If it isn't taught in school, it must not be important, right? :-)Also, the theory of evolution, which is taught in public school, puts forth an explanation for life without need for God.Sean55374: Well, then, if it were the reverse, and Evolution weren't allowed in schools, Evolution must not be important, and God puts for an explanation of life without the need for slow change?Diane55317: You state that some think God is an invention of Man. How ironic that must seem to God, the creator of all! Of course, almost every culture has Religion to explain life. I think that is because thoughtful people everywhere and in every time have looked at the world and seen God's handiwork and realized that there must be a creator. Evolution is a very flawed theory.Sean55374: Is Evolution a religion?Diane55317: Hmmm. . .I guess that depends on the definition of religion. But, I would say it is not a religionSean55374: Why is evolution a flawed theory?Diane55317: Well, you can do some of your own research on that, but part of the problem lies with how things are dated. Some of the dating of fossils is done based on the depth they were found at, but at the same time the age of various depths are based on the fossils found there. It is circular--trying to prove A based on B based on A.Sean55374: So, because the factors (fossils, age, and depth) aren't independent of one another, the method is flawed?Diane55317: Yes.Sean55374: I would think an evolutionist would say the same of God and the Bible: "Is the Bible true? Yes, because God said so. How do you know? Because it says so in the Bible."Diane55317: Yes, that is a circular argument as well and a very poor argument at that!Sean55374: What do you mean?Diane55317: It is just so blantantly circular! Sean55374: What is?Diane55317: Bible true because God said so in the Bible.Sean55374: Why is it a poor argument?Sean55374: brbDiane55317: Because the question of the Bible being true is dependent on the Bible being True (God says so in the Bible, so if the Bible is not true, then "God saying it is true" is not true)Sean55374: backSean55374: Well, how do you know that the Bible is true/Diane55317: I have a high confidence that it is true, based on various educational experiences I have had--learning about how it was carefully copied and how close to the events the writing took place, other corroborating writers, etc.Sean55374: How do you know that the original authors were right, assuming that the copies are faithful and pure to the originals?Diane55317: I can't know with 100% certainty--in the case of the beginning of mankind, for example, there weren't too many witnesses! But, the Bible probably has more copies written closer to the time of events than any other ancient document.Sean55374: Let's assume the copies are perfect. How do you know that the original authors were right?Diane55317: I don't know with 100% factual certainty, but based on the evidence I have read about, it's as good as it gets. The New Testament is much easier to verify, as it was only 2000 years ago and other writers wrote about Jesus.Sean55374: What's as good as what gets? What verification? What is verification?Diane55317: Hey, Sean--I've got to say goodnight--I have to get up earlhy to go to St. Cloud for a Toastmaster Contest. You really should do some research on the topic, or talk to someone who has done much more scholarly Bible research--I don't know who that would be at UND or in that area.Sean55374: I'm not interested in doing research on it. I'm interested in listening to and understanding you.

I'm finally appreciated!

This is the moment I have waited for! I am finally appreciated! Last night Sean sent me a paper that he had written for a class, asking for input (the paper was due today). I edited the paper, primarily moving some paragraphs around, cutting some material out and adding transition statements, but not changing too much of the wording. Sean thought my version looked great. "So great, in fact, that it doesn't look like my work." One of his teachers said that he looks forward to seeing improvement over the year and if Sean took what I'd done, then "expectations regarding organization skills will be higher than my actual abilities." He decided to turn in his original paper. What he did ask me to do was to explain my revisions as that would benefit him more. Well, I spent over an hour doing that and sent him my comments. After a long day, I finally sat down to read email and haven't felt such gratitude from one of my children in a long time: (Sean's email) "Thank you very much. I'm rather more amazed than anything. Then again, I forget that it's You, the organization guru. And this is precisely what I need to learn. It's my guess that, having been under your wing, I never bothered or needed to organize myself. However, using your suggestions, and this environment, that can be readily changed."

Freethinkers?

A couple of days ago, Sean told me about his visit to a group of students who are thinking of forming a "freethinkers" group. He even videotaped (actually really just the audio) the meeting and put it on private videos on Youtube. I listened to a couple while doing other work. It was obvious that "freethinking" was code for "agnostic/atheistic/secular." It wasn't what Sean expected and he didn't feel quite welcome. He wasn't expecting it to be focused on being atheistic/agnostic. I think he was expecting more of a general discussion. A college. . .a time of discovery.

No need to lecture

I love it when my children FINALLY come to their own conclusions, conclusions I've been lecturing about for a long time. Lectures that fell on deaf ears!
Sean, in response to a "How's it Going?" email, talked about being "hit with readings due." Three books expected to be read in 3 days, and apparently none of the students knew what the schedule was. Hmmm.... And he admitted to wasting time on You Tube--please, no lecture. He said he was annoyed at the thought I might have lectured. Hah! You can leave your parents, but your parents (their little nagging voice in the back of your mind) never leave you!

More than just a field trip. . .

I just got done having a lengthy Instant Message chat with Sean about his UND ISP field trip to Medora. Although the group returned last night about 5 PM (6 PM was on the itinerary that Sean emailed me), I hadn't seen Sean on the computer ( he shows up on my AOL Buddy list), nor had he returned my emails and his phone was off. I just wanted to know that he was alive and not lying dead in a ravine or something. I guess it is a "mom thing." I'm not entirely sure of the purpose of the field trip. From my perspective, as Sean related experiences--it seemed more of a "bonding experience" with the other students, including "getting drunk" the first night (apparently some students had sneaked in alcohol), to being lost with a group on a mountside in the rain and crossing the "bridge of death." They even sang to "scare away mountain lions!" I do know they did hold a debate about government involvement in the wilderness. Sean's exact words were "Whether the government should help in relocating animals, make oil thingies to extract oil, limit access to national parks." Oil Thingies?

College Boy goes grocery shopping. . .

Next Tuesday AM, Sean is leaving on a 3-day field trip to Medora, ND with his ISP class. My biggest concern is that he actually makes the bus that morning. They leave promptly at 8 and if he misses the bus, he misses the 3-day field trip. Additionally, he is supposed to bring some food and water as only Tuesday night and Wednesday night meals are provided and there is no refrigeration or ability to cook in the park. I suggested he contact Grandpa Williams to take him to buy a few groceries. He did go grocery shopping today and bought water, potato salad, ice cream cheese sticks, cheezits and other bagged chips. He realized that he would have to eat the ice cream and potato salad before Tuesday, but he forgot that the cheese sticks wouldn't last past Tuesday without refrigeration. I also commented that it didn't sound like much food (never mind that it didn't sound very healthy, either!). He said he hoped it would be enough as it cost $40!! When you only have $100, $40 is a big bite. He wondered how I did it feeding a whole family. Yes, groceries are expensive! Welcome to the real world!

My son, the leader?

In a rather lengthy IM conversation and subsequent email, Sean described an experience in his ISP class (Integrated Studies Program--several classes are combined into one "big" class). They were given a research topic in class: "The government (state or federal) should not interfere with water issues by methods like creating dams, draining or relocating rivers, etc." Then, the class broke into small groups to discuss the topic, after which they were let loose in the library to do research. Some material had already been put out for them to look at--apparently copious, overwhelming amounts of material. Some kids just "gave up" because it was too overwhelming. Fortunately, Sean did not. In fact, after people had gathered material to write up, many were wondering how they were going to put it all together, working as a team. Sean suggested using the online "blackboard" to post the material and discuss it--a very well received idea. He also helped the other students come to a plan to summarize and polish the material with different people taking on different tasks. And, to my dismay, he is getting known for being a "know-it-all," which does give him ego strokes, but as his mother and former homeschooling teacher, I know he has huge gaps in knowledge. The day ended especially well as my father, who is in his last semester of teaching at UND, and my step-mother took Sean out to eat at a Chinese restaurant.

Instant Messaging and Meal Plans!

I'm very grateful for Instant Messaging! I think I am conversing more with my son now that he is away at college than when he lived at home. Tonight we had a very lengthy IM conversation on the Meal Plan he is using. He is on the 19 meal plan (3 meals M-F and 2 on Saturday, during specified meal zones), which includes $95 Dining dollars that can be used any time. Sean is finding it challenging to eat only during the meal zones. He is used to being able to graze whenever he wants. He would like to switch his meal plan to "unlimited" so that he can eat whenever he wants (about $130 more per semester with $130 dining dollars)--it is too late to do that for this semester, but we will consider it for next semester. However, I did encourage him to eat breakfast--there are so many choices! I actually showed him how to navigate to the menu for specific days for specific dining halls--a computer task he is more than capable of doing, if he only realized that he could! To me it would be such a luxury to show up for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner and not have to plan, buy, cook and clean. Just show up and select what I want to eat from many choices.